My journey

Wow. I have like 3 days left and then I will be returning home. That is so crazy. The past two and a half months have flown by so quickly. When I look back over the past 2 months, it feels like I just got here – but when I think about coming home I think about all of the things I have been without for a while: family, constant power and water, my car, my blue jean shorts, my hair dryer, homemade lemon ice cream, J I realize that I am very excited about coming home. It is a bittersweet feeling though because I am also sad about leaving. So allow me to sum up the past month…

After our trip when we finished hibernating, it was a really crazy week for Barry because there were about 5 trips going on at the same time and two of them were in Harare working at the volunteer projects. We didn’t want to be a burden so we just tagged along at the office, a few orphanages, etc. At the end of the week we went to Antelope Park for 3 days. Whoa that place is so awesome. It’s definitely one of my favorite places on earth. Antelope Park is a few hours away from Harare and in the center of Zim. It is a lion breeding project with lodges, campgrounds, and tents on the water, canoeing, lion interaction, elephant interaction, and really good food. My two most favorite things about that place are the drums they played to announce every meal and going to sleep every night listening to the resounding roaring of the lions. So cool. The place was so beautiful and peaceful. It is a great place to just get away. We got to interact with elephants by feeding them and riding them. I spent the majority of that time just reading and thinking about the past trip and what all God was showing me. We were there with a small group from South Africa. They were from like the ‘ghettos’ of South Africa and they were mixed races – between African and Dutch and German. The culture barrier was huge. They had to adjust their conversations and the way they spoke so we could understand them but I still had trouble at times. The conversations were very interesting. Anyway, we all had a wonderful time. I really want to go back there during their summer and take a group with me. You can swim with the elephants, lion feeding, walk with the lions, feed and play with baby cubs, etc. It’s a great place.

Once we were back in Harare we were working hard at the orphanages. Several days we worked on finishing up one of the older boys bedroom at St. Joseph’s. The older boys are about to finish up their primary school and once that bridge comes we don’t know what’s going to happen for them. All of those boys basically have no dreams or aspirations because according to the world their future is hopeless. There is no opportunity for further education in Zim. A university in South Africa is a very suitable option but comes with money and loads of work. Getting the money actually is the easier part of the process. You have to go through SO MUCH paperwork, finding an appropriate school, figuring up entire costs – including fees, boarding, food, supplies – in addition to getting a passport, which would be a very difficult process because since these boys are orphans there is no paperwork on them. They have no records of themselves – only their names. And this huge task is on the shoulders of Suzanne, who works for ACTS and has so many other responsibilities (her newlywed husband, all other orphanages and their problems, taking care of volunteers who come like Mandy and me, working in the ACTS office, etc). Once a structure is established in giving these boys a possible chance at a future, it will be easier for the rest. It’s just a matter of finding people willing to help with the dirty work. I would love to help make that possible. We will see in time what God has planned for that situation. My heart is breaking for those boys. I see it as an exciting challenge to make the impossible possible.

Zimre Park is another orphanage where we have spent some time. Once we went and had bible studies and played games with them. This last time we came and set up the projector and watched Madagascar 2. It was so much fun! We also brought them sodas and snacks. We had such a fun time just sitting and watching the movie with them. They absolutely loved it! It was such a great blessing.

I am so excited to have been a part of what all we did with the orphans, but my heart breaks for what all still needs to be done. We only completed one corridor and 3 rooms, reconstructed windows and light switches, patched up holes and floors, etc – but as far as painting goes, there is so much more to be done. The paint and supplies are sitting in a garage waiting for people to come and give their time. It has been quieter on the volunteer projects this year because of the political situation. So many people are afraid to come to Zim because they think it’s unsafe. Well I’ve been to a few places in my life and Harare is one of the safer places in Africa in which I have been. I wish we could have spent more time at all of the other orphanages. Looking back it felt like Harare was our home, our mission base, but we were always in and out. We have made some great friendships in Harare for sure.

When you are out of your comfort zone and crossing culture barriers and all sorts of crazy things, your true colors really come out… and I have got to say that not many people would be able to handle living with me 24 hours a day for 2 months and 10 days, but Mandy has gone above and beyond. We compromised based on our strengths and weaknesses quite nicely and we knew when to stay out of each other’s hair. She has been such an amazing encouragement to me and I am so thankful and blessed to have been able to have had this unforgettable experience with her. We have prayed together, cooked together, laughed together, and shared many unforgettable moments together. Side by side we have had our very frustrating moments but also our moments when we were simply overwhelmed by God’s glory and grace. My favorite moments with her include: laughing and singing while cooking, laying in our sleeping bags trying to sleep but couldn’t because we were amazed at what all God was showing us and doing through us, singing “Indescribable” while gazing at the moonbow in Vic Falls one night in Zambia, and praying together when we were afraid… and praying together when we were so thankful for God being faithful and providing.

Suzanne and Nic work for ACTS and are responsible for taking care of the volunteers. They were absolutely amazing. They are a newlywed couple and instead of working and spending time together they have been feeding us, providing all of our transportation, and working with us at the volunteer projects. They are so amazing and I am so thankful for them. Everyone we have spent time with in Harare is such an inspiration to us. They are truly living for the kingdom of God and what really amazes me is how open they are about it. I only share my struggles and what God’s doing in my life with my closest friends. I’ve realized that I need to change that. I was just amazed at how open they were at social gatherings and not just at church. I am used to seeing people like that at church and at lifegroups but not in every day life. For example we were at Barry’s house one afternoon for ‘tea and tennis’ having a good time when I see some talking about what all God is doing in their lives, what struggles they are having, and then I see a few men praying for another. It was just really refreshing and encouraging to me if that makes sense. When someone asks me how I am doing I don’t reply regarding my walk with God. I typically don’t include that in my small talk – I save that for the deep discussions and the pillow talks. Our relationship with God is the most important in our lives and having others to lean on and share things with is essential. A few weeks ago when I was reading about putting on the full armor of God, I came across 1 Peter 5:8, “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” I was thinking about how lions prowl on the weak ones. When they see a herd, they seek and devour the ones who are straggling behind – the ones who are weak and not as strong as the rest of the group. That is how Satan comes after us. He attacks at our weak points, whatever we are struggling with. So if we haven’t laid our struggles out on the table and said, “here they are - I can’t handle them alone,” Satan will devour. We have to give our struggles along with everything else to God… but also share with others. Fellowship. Opening up to another really lightens the burden. When I give my troubles to God and not share them with anyone else for prayer or encouragement, I feel like I still have some sort of control over the situation and I know I shouldn’t. I should be completely vulnerable and open with my weaknesses to God and my brothers and sisters in Him. Everyone we spent time with in Harare really encouraged me. I was sad to leave.

But we had to leave because we were going to Capetown! It is SO AMAZING. We took hundreds of pictures and they do not do justice at all. Since Barry is from Capetown we had like the best tour ever. Needless to say he was the ultimate tour guide. It was so incredible to see mountains and beaches in the same location, every where you look. He took us to all the best places. It was flippin’ awesome! Normally this time of year the weather is really bad. It’s normally windy, rainy, and really cold – the end of their winter. But God really blessed our trip with sunshine and no rain, which is extremely unusual and we were there a good week. We were only in Capetown for a few days but we travelled along the southern coast so the total trip lasted about 9 days. It’s been absolutely incredible. It was the perfect way to end an unbelievable experience. We’ve been going nonstop for two months so it’s been amazing to have a little time for holiday and just to reflect back on the summer and what all God has done in our lives.

As far as a summary of my entire experience goes, I don’t even know where or how to start. I can’t even wrap my head around it. God really did pick me apart – shook my world and turned it upside down – in an amazing way. I feel like my feelings and emotions during this journey have gone in all different directions. He has blown me away with glimpses of his love for me, his beauty, and his sovereignty. One thing God was telling me to do from the beginning was to open my arms wide and be completely vulnerable to him - so he could mold and shape me into the person he created me to be. And I’ve done that and it’s been incredible. And I will continue to do so. I have a tendency of opening up quickly and being vulnerable and pouring out my heart to others but not as much to God. I’ve always had a steady relationship with Him but I feel it’s been only the tip of the iceberg. It hasn’t always been a deep, meaningful, and intimate relationship which is what it should be. And it's never been as deep, meaningful, and intimate as it has been these past two months. All along this journey I’ve been altering my perspectives on things – wasteful tendencies, things I take for granted that I am usually surrounded by like security, family, familiar surroundings, food, power, internet, water, communication, etc. At home I am surrounded by all of these things - everything I need (or what the world tells me I need). The past two months I have had to rely on God for these things. Help wasn’t just a phone call away. I had to completely surrender to God to provide. And every step of the way he did. Honestly there were times when I wanted to run and hide and not face my fears – to let someone else handle it. But God kept me safe every minute of every day, and very healthy (all summer people around me were sick but I never had a problem), he provided faithfully and abundantly, and I don’t know why I was afraid. I was forced to rely on him and I am so thankful that I was. Now I am more convicted now than ever that I cannot go back home and get caught up into my old routine. I was overwhelmed with business, I never even allowed much time for myself much less God – the one that should be my top priority. I have a thirst for the word and for God that I have never had before. And I am so excited! I am so excited that he showed me my purpose in life and how it strings together all of my desires, passions, and past experiences. I am so glad that he has given me a better understanding of myself, how I was created, and how mine and his relationship should be. It’s been unbelievable. Seriously my head is spinning thinking about it all. God is so good! Thank you so much for reading my blog. It’s so encouraging to me knowing that someone out there is reading them. Thank you for your comments, love, thoughts, and prayers. I encourage you to put yourself out of your comfort zone for a bit – not by taking a trip but by taking a risk, facing your fears head on, doing something different. It is such an amazing feeling to step out into the unknown and to be guided by God along the way. We are so blessed. I am so blessed. Words cannot describe how grateful and appreciative I am for all of the prayers and support. Thank you.